Separation Anxiety - C.O.M.F.O.R.T

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Congratulations! you’ve found safe and reliable child care for your toddler. Day one goes by then a week, and your toddler screams and cries as if you’ve left them to fend for themselves! We call this separation anxiety and it is not your fault. Separation anxiety is a developmental stage all toddlers experience and phase out as they learn more about their independent and coping skills.

Guardians, it is smarter to not worry when it will end, and focus on C.O.M.F.O.R.T:

C = Consistency with the alternative caregiver and departure 

O = Objects of familiarity: Something from home to decrease anxiety

Recommended: Blanket for nap time + favorite toy that's also at the childcare that can be played with during the drive

M = Maintain presence of caregiver when in medical procedures or appointments

F = Focus the child's attention towards engaging activities until the primary caregiver returns

O = Organize drop off time when they child is fed, awake, unhurt, distress or sick 

R = Reassure the child that their primary caregiver will return

Children do not understand time, connect pick up time with a task such as "dad will come back after you nap"

T =  Train through short periods with a trusted caregiver and continue to extend the time. This helps your toddler know that you will return.

This stage of growth informs us that our children have succeeded in understanding object permanence: once a person is gone they still exist someplace else. Your toddler's crying at drop off, is them understanding you are somewhere they wish to be. Here are ways to begin preparing your toddler weeks before their first day of childcare:  

Ensure Their Attendance at All Childcare Visits with You: The day you pick up the application, drop it off, the orientation, the tour, etc. Your approval is the final say, but the person who will be spending the most days there should get to see and experience that process. This should help your child in building familiarity when you use words such as childcare or school.

Brief Visits Prior to Extended Days:  If your childcare allows it, have your toddler start with half days, It can make the process feel less intimidating and more manageable for everyone involved. Half days give them the chance to get used to the childcare's daily schedule, interactions with caregivers, and other children in a less intense way.

Redirection: Let your toddler’s teacher know what their favorite toys and actions they like to do with the latter. If little Brady enjoys drawing dinosaurs, Have a toy dinosaur and paper ready for him at the door!